so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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