dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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