thus making me awesome and them whores
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
