dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
