it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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