; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize