I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Is Oprah even human
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
