I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
