Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize