how can u be prego again
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
