She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
