He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
