I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
