fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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