i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
