You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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