He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
