He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
