Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Bring me that man meat
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
