I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
