Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
