I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
