I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
