i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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