love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
