i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
