your thong is hanging out like whoa
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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