It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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