Screwed.edu
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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