i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize