So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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