i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
