I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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