Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
