just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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