Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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