So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Randomize
