That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
