Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
