I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize