drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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