It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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