I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
