I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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