I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
The police scanner is talking about you again....
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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