Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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