You smell like a Billy Joel song
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
