the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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