O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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