I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
