I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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