He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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