i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
