I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
