you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
