after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
