The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
