i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
handjob tips. give me some.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
