its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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