i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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