Having a random hookup so left but love u
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
