So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
