he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
