her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
