I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
