Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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