this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
