Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
