I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
