you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
